So its finals time. And here I am stressing again. In fact its really disturbing to me. I'm really curious to know where laid back me disappeared off to and who replaced this moody feeling out of place emotional twenty year old. *sigh
So now I sit here and reflect back on my freshman year and here's the run down of what went down:
I went to my dream college
I met the most amazing five girls a girl could ever meet and had the time of my life
but then reality caught up with me.....
I realized due to certain circumstances I couldn't stay at my dream college
I or should I say my birth family found me
I got my belly pierced
Denied the fact I had to leave until the very last day
and transfered back up here
Where I entered a friendship filled with paradoxes
One minute I couldn't be happier where there are other moments I am absolutely disgusted that I'm friends with this person
Moved into the crappiest dorm of my life
Crushed on this one guy for the entire semester and have yet to muster up a smile
( I know I'm perfectly aware there are plenty of people out there who are like "OMG ur a muslima, no eyes down gaze away....etc. etc. But you know what excuse me for actually giving into my feelings once or twice and actually trying to do something about it. I only wanted a decent conversation with this guy, a wave would've left me happy.)
Took some of the crappiest courses which I'm praying to Allah on a daily basis to perform a miracle to get me out alive.
The reality of actually finding my birth family officially hit me and I realized I wasn't happy
So to conclude...
My freshman year taught me a lot. Its shown me what I want in life, how to get itt, and has seriously set me up with different goals for next year inshallah soooo..... here they are:
1. Better living accommodations with a better roommate! :D very excited
2. Courses that I'ma actually interested in
3. I will have one decent conversation with the "guy"
4. No more paradox friendships. I'm cutting some people out of my life
5. Schedule, schedule, schedule
6. Find my birth father
7. GO back to my dream college
There you go those are my Sophomore Se7en.
Wish me luck
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Oh dear sweet blog, the vessel of my thoughts don't worry I haven't forgotten you. Not yet. This semester thankfully is almost over. Alot of cramming, red bull, and stressing will be going on but hey this is me we're talking about. I never expect anything better. Just off the phone with my sister. The sister that I just found out about 5 months ago. The sister that falls in line with the seven other siblings that I've learned about. Along with a mother I've never knew outside the womb. And millions of questions about a father who remains faceless. Sometimes I take a step outside my life and look for subtitles or a director yelling"CUT!" because honestly my life seems life something pulled out of a lifetime movie. Well I just wanted to let you guys know I'm still here, still navigating through this wonderful world. As my term comes to an end I hope this gives me more time to write. Writing is the purging of a soul. Purging sometimes can be good for you. Think of it as....a good colon cleansing.