Short and sweeter...

Allah is testing me right now. Inshallah I hope all my issues work out. Instead of worrying about what the future holds I'm going to go shopping tomorrow, after I've finished 3 of my papers, to look for an awesome outfit to go the this charity hookah lounge event on Wednesday which I will still go to without skipping class because its just hookah. Not a grade. But And I am going to enjoy it and forget about the future. I need to live it out now.

My lemonade is a little sour right now

So I'm currently experiencing the "college bum out phase". Its a period you go through where you sit down and think "How the hell did I get here oh and everyone is so much smarter than me".Side effects also include random crying sessions and the ice cream at the dinning hall becomes magically becomes the next best thing to coffee Hagen Daz. So I had to drop a math course. Failed the midterm and it was the worst grade I've ever made in my life. Literally. Not trying to sound like I'm a genius or anything but I've never done that bad. So I hop on the campus bus and mentality vow not to cry so I start listening to "Lemonade-Gucci Mane' because well that song is just stupid.period. Well the not cry thing last until I get off the bus and I walk down the main path through our campus bawling( glancing down at my phone pretending to text though whenever people pass by, I don't do public outbursts.) It also happened to be the day when my side of the hall was experiencing a "WE ALL ARE FREAKING HAPPY DAY". So I had to escape to my room and do the ugly cry. That including frantically cleaning my room because I clean when I'm upset.and organize my scarves :). Basically by the end of the day I've realized that first I didn't need the math course and my umi (who is the bomb) reassured me that it would better to drop the course than fail and really butcher my GPA. So here I am. Still bummed though. I miss kindergarten. All you had to do was play nice and eat a cookie. Life.

xoxox.....................

Spazzed out on a stalker, 7-12 page Political Theory Essay but I just stare at the screen......#%%#$^%$#!!!

MEN

You probably won't meet a real one until you hit thirty.But by then they've already spent a whole lifetime perving after other women so what's the point. Sorry but today will be a negative post. An extremely negative post.

What is women ran the world?No I mean seriously not that bullshit with Wonder Woman wearing an outfit two sizes too small or sitting around singing "Girl Power" crap because personally I can't stand that stuff.(I dropped out of Girls Scouts if thats no surprise). What if Saudi was ruled by a queen? Would she sit around and let everyone in the world rob her of her riches or hold it as collateral until she got what she wanted. What if the guys at my college had to take "Men's Leadership" classes instead. Would the class teach them respect,dignity, and honor or would another jackass stand up there and talk about last weeks football game. What if Charlie Brown had been a girl?Well it would have taken over 40 years to kick the damm football. What if it was Alpha "female" instead of alpha male. Wait what does that even mean anyways? The king of fools? Or the fool is a king?

So a few days ago I had to cuss out this erratic Jordanian stalker guy who felt it was his birthright to follow a friend of mine around and pursue after her as if she was the last piece of meat on Earth. The piss taking fact is that as I stood there screaming chaotically at this complete waste of space (yes I said it and yes I meant it), you have these men who could knock me down with a sneeze watching me act like a complete lunatic. Oh yes I despise men. I despise them down to their screwed up chromosomes because at the end of the day they surprise you with conversations you'd never thought you have again( an old friend of mine had a complete convo with me a few days ago and it was relieving that yes, he's grown up, my work is done).

Its kind of crazy. We're living in a world with this big 'ol love/hate dynamic thing going on. If only I stopped meeting all the ones I hate.

Short and Sweet

Had a busy night so very short post.Check out this artist "Feroz". Really good and original sound.

I told someone I didn't wan to wear white to my wedding,*gasp was the answer

So I don't know why but a little idea has been running in my head for a while. The idea consists of twelve hour flight accompanied by endless trips to the governmental building to renew a student visa and paying tuition at The American University of Cairo and managing the finances of a flat while remaining um tempted to throw a flat party because well no one is there to tell you not to.Yep.I'm thinking about moving back to Egypt. Don't get me wrong I love it here.Really I'm enjoying college and so far everything is working out the way at least I think Allah wants it.Its just something is missing.It been missing for a while.My freedom.I remember days when I could leave the house and venture out to the souk behind our apartment building and stroll the streets watching the locals go about their daily routines. I remember my last day in Cairo how I purposely got on a random bus and got lost just to enjoy that feeling of I don't know being apart of a bigger dynamic in the world. I hearing the ahdan sooooooo much wallahi.Wow it is the most beautiful thing to wake up for fagr with 5 different mosques surrounding your apartment building calling the ahdan at different pitches at different times which are only about a second off. Ramadan is nothing like here.Over there you don't just go through Ramadan you LIVE Ramadan.Also once you get over the whole pollution and other random crap we Westerners overemphasize about because we're just that dam spoiled, you might be blessed with the view of the pyramids right from your balcony window. Or waking up at 2 AM and hearing shouts of awe from all of the people in your building because its beginning to rain(which happens like once or twice a year lol) and the minute you open the balcony door and step out on the cold concrete a bolt of diamond white lightning streaks the pitch blue sky in front of you and you stand looking in awe half out of fear and amazement. I feel bad I haven't had these moments here in my own country of USA.I mean I will always love NYC(lol another clue towards my location :).I don't just love this city I fucking obsess about it. This place always sends this rush of excitement whenever I'm walking through the African Marts on 116th of gazing up at the powerful yet intimidating buildings down near Wall Street. When I was a little girl I wanted to be the princess of New York City, and no not in that vain Gossip Girl way no I wanted to be powerful enough one day to share the love this city has brought to me back to its people. If falling in love was is powerful as it has been with theses places then it is unimaginable what this heart can handle. So we'll see. I'll fill out an application today. I'll also fill out on for NYU AD. Allah has guided me well so far, I'm always anticipating what is next.
xoxoxo