I don't know.

I have no idea how to feel. Last week I went to sleep an only child. I go to bed this morning as the second eldest of eight siblings. I have a brother that is three years old. I have seven other individuals that are going to look up to me. Seven individuals who might want to model their lives after me ( I don't mean this in a vain way I'm talking hypothetically). I can't afford to make anymore mistakes or live life carelessly. I have brothers and sisters out there. I'm in shock. I'm grateful for everything I have and I want more. I want to be successful. Before I don't know I never thought about my existence actually impacting someones life but now I don't know. I'm in so much shock. Wow Allah works in mysterious ways. I was the only child to be adopted and mashallah the only muslim as well. Allah has a plan for me. There is a reason for everything. So I'm taking a pledge to be a better muslim inshallah. I want to become closer to Rabinah because this has just been the biggest miracle in my life and proof that Allah truly looks out for you. I'm at a place I don't know. I'm in shock. I'm numb. I'm scared. I'm hopeful. I'm emotional. I'm stuck. I'm amazed. i'm alive. Alive. Alive. I've lived. I've survived. I will make it.